-- Chapter from It's Not As Tough At Home As You Think -- Making Creases Chapter from It's Not As Tough At Home As You Think -- Making Creases
Hello. Sign in to get personalized recommendations.
Your Account
Order Status
Customer Service
View Cart Checkout
Home Books Audio Software Judaica
ArtScroll Classics   |    Browse Categories   |    Best Sellers   |    The App  |   New Releases   |   Future Releases   |   Recommendations
ArtScroll Gift Finder
Privacy Policy
To unsubscribe, click here
Shop By Item Number  
Request A Catalog  
Siddur / Prayer Books  
Chumash / Torah  
Tanach / Bible  
Daily Dose of Torah  
Kosher By Design Series  
Passover Haggadahs  
Interlinear Series  
Tehillim / Psalms  
Rubin Prophets  
Torah Reader's Tikkun  
Foreign Language Editions  
Rashi & Ramban  
Children's Titles  
All Categories  
Gift Certificates  
Browse By Category  
Best Sellers  
New Releases  
Back In Print  
Browse by Author  
Browse by Title  
Schottenstein Talmud Bavli  
Schottenstein Talmud Yerushalmi  
Kleinman Ed. A Daily Dose of Torah  
Edmond J. Safra French Talmud  
Schottenstein Ed. Book of Mitzvos  
Click for ArtScroll Gift Certificates
Sample Chapters  
Parashah Talk  
Click to find a Hebrew Bookstore near you

  Chapter 85 from
It's Not As Tough At Home As You Think
Making Family Life Smoother and Better

By Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski 

Other Available Chapters
4  22  27  30  78  95  99 

Making Creases

A distraught mother was in anguish because her 16-year-old daughter had left home and had fallen into drug use and undesirable behavior. She was helpless to do anything about it. She had no legal recourse. She had three other children, but was unable to tend adequately to them because of her preoccupation with the errant daughter.

When she met with other parents of wayward children, they told her that she must accept the fact that her daughter was beyond her control. The mother said to me, “I’ll never accept that!”

“You mean you think you can do something about it?” I asked.

“No, I know I can’t. But I still cannot accept it.”

“Let’s clarify terms,” I said. “What you mean is that you do not and will not approve of what she is doing. You also do not wish to give up hope that she will one day come to her senses and abandon her self-destructive behavior. You are right on both accounts. However, ‘acceptance’ does not mean ‘approval’ nor does it mean ‘despair.’ Acceptance means acknowledging facts for what they are. As of today, you must accept the unfortunate fact that you cannot do anything to rescue your daughter, and you certainly do not approve of it. Perhaps things may change tomorrow.

“If you accept this fact today, you will be able to devote your energies to your other children who need a mother’s care. If you deny reality and insist on doing something at a time when nothing can be done, you will deplete yourself in futile actions.”

There are many things in life of which we disapprove, but they are facts nevertheless. If we do not confuse acceptance with approval, we may be able to continue to function in the face of adversity.

© Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.